Fear

This weekend was really tough for me, Amy, personally. My sister was checked into the hospital on Friday with pneumonia. On Saturday my mom called and told me that things had gotten worse through the night and my sister was in real danger. I felt so scared and so helpless. Having a baby and living 500 miles away, there wasn't much I could do except wait, pray, cry, worry, pray more, worry more...
This morning my mom informed me that things are looking better, though she's definitely not completely better. It will be a long road back to full health. Still, it is such a relief to hear that she is doing better.
It's amazing how quickly things can change. I just spoke to my sister on Thursday. I knew she was sick, sure, but never would have thought it could turn so bad so quickly. It really scared me.
It made me think, again, how hard it must be to go through fear and heartache without God. It's hard enough to go through it when I know God is in control - know He loves me and my sister and holds her life in His big, loving, strong hands. So I just can't imagine not knowing God - not trusting that He's real and that His love is real - and going through the fear and helplessness of illness, death, loss, heartbreak...
I've got to share God with people. It's just too hard to go through life without Him. At 8:00 last night when my sister's heartrate was way too high and I feared the night for her and felt so helpless, I only found the peace to sleep in the knowledge that God is never helpless.